| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|06:21 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | ~brighteyes; the calendar hung itself | ] |
when i was about 7 or 8, i had to stay overnight at my grandparents if my mother and father went out.
if it was raining i would wake up early, sit right in front of the door and watch the rain. i remember the smell and the sounds and how my blanket always smelt safe.
i would sit there for hours. and not say anything. and no one in the house ever came and made me leave.
today we had p.e in the cola, so i sat down in front of the door and watched the rain come down for the period. the ground was flooding.
when i got off the bus this afternoon the rain had stopped and my shoes skidded on the road.
i have really thin fingers and they feel like ice.
last night there was a fact inside the lid of my my juice.
slugs have four noses. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|10:08 pm] |
I am inhabited by a cry.
Nightly it flaps out
Looking, with its hooks, for something to love.
I am terrified by this dark thing
That sleeps in me;
All day i feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.
eveything she writes is hitting a lot harder right now. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|07:14 pm] |
|
and i think my heart just fell out into my hand. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|07:05 pm] |
what do i do, what do i do.
i wasn't expecting this feeling. i remember it. its not good.
nothing good comes from this. somethings going to happen.
somebody stop. me.
ah! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2006|07:07 am] |
|
like i'll never be the same. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|05:52 pm] |
felt like i should update around now.
so much has been happening lately.
i've got zero social life due to my mother not accepting things and my father taking her side. i've been reading a lot a lot of books and in the holidays i nearly went insane but now its better.
i did make a zine in the holidays.
its not done yet and i'm not sure if i ever will finish it.
if i ever gave it to anyone. you would all think i was really fucked.
it's not a nice zine. i was not in a good place so everything in it was not good and i guess not hopeful.
but then again i might give it out.
its very fucking honest.
so the holidays happened and i had no contact with anyone really.
then school went back. i like school. it makes me feel safe and i like the daily contact with everyone.
first day back was okay. i get so fucking clingy but it was good to see people again. especially jess.
and i'm passing school.
amazingly.
good marks on my art essay and my english work and photography.
failed maths but this is expected. passed science by half a mark and did okay in geography.
i'm really excited about our photography assignment and it should be fun.
things at home are not so good.
motherdear doesnt like any of my ideas at all about anything and i'm grounded again for a week because jess caught my bus home with me. fuck fuck fuck.
i really miss going to town after school and having banana milkshakes or getting the bus with jesse and wandering nowhere with him and telling each other secrets and giggling about our lovers. i miss going to gigs and jumping on ellen and dancing with my twin and laughing with her. i miss falling asleep on jess's bed in the afternoon and waking up while the sun is going down and being real sleepy and happy. i miss staying up til 5 a.m and telling her secrets and trying not to laugh so loud. i want things to be how they were before but i cant change it.
i guess i'm trying to convince myself that i only have to stay here until school is over and then i can escape with whoever i want and not be fucking compressed and lonely and whatever else.
i need to start and try to not break contact with old friends, i never mean for it to happen but it does. soon i'm going to start getting myself invited to peoples houses for sleepovers giggles and singing and pretending we are a band (yes you ellen!) i'm going to write a billion letters and actually get photos printed and maybe if you ask i'll give you a copy of the awful zine and i'm going to get a job and have money and i'm going to buy jess the best present ever ever ever and i will catch up on late birthday presents too.
i'm still uncertain on what i want to do after school.
journalism sounds good, but photography is tempting, as is photojournalism and just plain arts. whatever happens i hope we fucking all stay friends, i'll invite you to my tiny house and we can get real drunk and scream bikini kill songs at people. i know sometime soon things are going to get real amazing,
i hope.
i love hope.
i love you.
i love jess.
i love my twin.
i love love.
mmmmmmhmmmmmmmmm.
love. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2006|12:18 pm] |
banned for a month.
lovelove |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2006|04:24 pm] |
new zine completed just today!
want one?
ask!
20 pages of hard labour by jessbatty and i!
tell all your friends!
SELF PROMOTE SELF PROMOTE !!!!! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2006|07:28 pm] |
i am going to be so fucking honest in this journal.
i have decided that i trust all five of you on my friends list
so no lies here okay.
fact 1.
i am in love.
fact 2.
nothing is going to change that.
fact 3.
we are fucking amazing together.
fact 4.
i love all of you
ellen eliza mikey josie jess.
i am sick today and my head is throbbing.
there are many exciting things happening right now and perhaps i'll let you in on them when the time is right.
josie, we dont talk enough, we should talk more, you are great,
eliza, you are the best hair metal slut ever ever ever. ilu
elleneb, dear twin, i hope good things happen for you lady.
mikey, oh mikey, this are fucking shit hey. im going to try and make it better.
jess, love.
night cunts. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
intraveinous's journal